I've been posting too much texts in the blog lately, not that it matters that much though. It's probably just because I've had a lot of things running around inside my head. I can't quite put it into words properly.
Doesn't mean I'm going to try.
People are going to find it stupid when they find out that there's this huge vortex of lost, unguided thoughts and feelings in me. It's just there, sucking in unwanted and wanted emotions, making me feel entirely confused and uncertain of my life. Here's the part where people say "God, Camille. You sound so freaking stupid right now. Just enjoy life blah, blah, blah".
Do you really think that'd be a good thing to say? Think about it. Think.
There are people who constantly choose to brush things off because they can, and they can handle it. No empathy, sympathy, worry and just pure carelessness. Then there are people who tries to be indifferent and even force themselves to feel nothing, when they obviously can't. They feel for other people so much because they just do, it's what builds them as a person.
People like me.
It's to keep myself from being attached, from caring. Naturally, it comes off as rude to me when I don't try to show appreciation towards something or someone. Probably because I believe in reasons so much, that everything and everyone just has purpose. It all simply matters.
I'm losing you, please stay with me.
So I sound like a whiney, sensitive 17-year-old who obviously have problems. If that offends, bothers, annoys you, then stay away. Unless you want to matter to me, then step all over my existence then I'm not going to rid you of your rights. But to save you from all that work, then you should just probably walk away.